EGGS ON HALLOWEEN

I like eggs. They are yummy! Fried egg sandwich with ketchup, scrambled eggs with caramelized onions and cheese and bacon bits and chopped ham, sunny side up eggs with toast to dip into yoke with pork chops, over easy with black pepper and sliced green pepper, omelets with the works, hard boiled with salt, soft boiled with salt, chopped up in an egg salad, deviled eggs, raw in a cup Rocky Balboa style, I don't care how you make 'em I want 'em. But there is one way I don't like eggs, and that's on my windshield.
Now, my favorite holiday besides Christmas is Halloween. I LOVE Halloween, but there is a problem... Don't get me wrong now I don't care that kids throw eggs on Halloween, as lame as it is it is ultimately harmless, just need to wash it off. BUT the IDEA was always the people who don't give you candy, THEY get the eggs, they get the T.P. treatment, not just anybody for no reason. Just doing it for no reason, why that's no fun at all. THESE KIDS TODAY NEED TO LEARN THE RULES!!!
SO here is my List Of Halloween Rules,

1. Egg and T.P. people who were clearly home when you rang but still did not give you candy, UNLESS; You are not wearing ANY costume, or makeup or anything, if that is the case see rule number 2.
2. Egg and T.P. people who trick or treat with no type of costume at all, not even some stupid black makeup smeared over their eyes like Elliot in E.T. ; Conversely, It is okay to egg and t.p. anyone over the age of 13 dressed as a Power Ranger, My Little Pony, Care Bears, Shazam, Elmo, Buzz Lightyear, or Rey Mysterio.
3. Satanic rituals should only be attempted by experienced evil people, card carrying satanists, or Conan O'brian. Eggs should only be tossed at people that are using the idea of devil worship as an excuse to get drunk, possibly laid, in a cemetery.
4. The shaving cream bit is a lame waist of money, however if you do insist on using it, I recommend Edge Gel. It is cool because it comes out as a green glob, and when they try to rub it off it just foams up and gets stickier.
5. Ding dong ditch should not be attempted on Halloween, as it could cause people to not answer the door for legitimate Trick or Treaters; it is therefore acceptable to egg anyone caught playing said game.
6. Leave the kids under 13 alone, let them enjoy being young, let them dress up, let them get their candy, wait till it's dark and they are asleep. This also is good because the dark makes it easier for you to escape!
7. If you are going to Egg a police car, first make sure there are no cops in it! Then hit it fast, in and out bam bam, don't linger!
8. For some extra added fun, try mixing in some soft boiled eggs, they make a unique kind of spattered brains looking mess when cooked and thrown properly.
9. Don't eat the brown acid
10. Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs! Yes! Eggs!!